I’ll answer that question before you even read the rest of the article – about four.
I’ve been on Twitter for a while now. It took me a long time to figure out who was worth following, specifically with different sports writers and athletes.
However, it took even more time to figure out which parody accounts, or accounts that are pretending to be someone else, were worth following. I found a few, but that isn’t the point of this ranticle. DISCLAIMER: Ranticle – Article and rant put together, watch this term take off
An account showcasing Tyler Bozak’s obsessive nature about his faceoff-winning? Sure. An account showcasing Dany Heatley’s inability to let go of his 50-goal season? You bet. What about an account showcasing Craig MacTavish’s BOLD moves (see what I did there) on Twitter? Definitely. I’m accepting of that.
An account that claims it is the crease on Jarome Iginla’s forehead? UH, NO.
Sure, this account hasn’t been active since 2011, but these accounts are appearing more every day. Here’s where the rant part starts.
First of all, you do NOT diss or make fun of Jarome Iginla. Classy guy.
Second of all, I am quite understanding of those people whom copy others, hoping to feed off of a guy’s success. The aforementioned Dany Heatley account has been quite successful, starting a makeshift clothing line, receiving sponsors left and right. It makes sense that people want to try what this guy has done.
But there are parody accounts for practically every single NHL player in the league. And get this: THEY’RE NOT FUNNY.
Like, look at all these disasters claiming to be Phil Kessel’s ego. Only one is still active, probably because they know they aren’t very funny.
Finally, there is a point in time where you should realize that one account per player is more than enough (might even be too much still.)
I’m all for trying to make light of the game; making jokes during the game, relating to the athlete and his teammates, and the happenings that take place for the player. But, all of these accounts deal with a similar premise: getting women, smoking cigarettes, and scoring goals. This is not funny. REPEAT: THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
If I’ve noticed anything from the successful accounts, it’s that they generate creative tweets, based on what is going on in the game, or what the person running the account would assume the player is going through in their everyday lives. The successful accounts put thought (not much) into their tweets, hoping to generate a laugh.
Whereas with the other accounts, they recycle the same jokes over and over again, holding out high hopes that new people see them every time.
Solution: While I don’t have any plausible solutions, I have two that I believe would work if I had the readership/money/power/ownership of Twitter.
1. Only allow one parody account per athlete on Twitter. Man, this would be great. Could you imagine? I imagine this kind of Twitter in a meadow filled with beautiful flowers and mass amounts of sunshine. Of course, there’s no real way to stop this, so I’ll stop explaining it now.
2. Actually try to be funny on these accounts. The beauty of Twitter is that you can say whatever you want on there, and you don’t have to be funny. However, that’s also it’s downfall of Twitter. If you’re a parody account, be funny. If you’re not funny, just don’t try.
Maybe I just have the wrong sense of humour, but I don’t think that an account that claims it’s Evgeni Malkin’s Knee is very funny.
(Yes, this account exists.)