The NHL’s 30 burning questions: via Google PART 2

Because of the overwhelming support from the first post (I didn’t get any,) I decided to write part two. Actually, I basically did part two because my life would have been incomplete without it.

PART ONE.

Aaaaaanyways, here’s the other 15 of the most burning questions on the minds of NHL fans, via Google.

16. Nashville Predators – “Are the Nashville Predators moving?”

The short answer – no.

The long answer – I believe there was one point in time that they were rumoured to be moving to Hamilton, Ontario. You know, because every single struggling NHL team is always rumoured to be moving to Canada at some point. While I’m writing this, I’m growing more and more frustrated with the reasonings behind the lack of movement to Canada.

BECAUSE THERE ISN’T ANY. 

But, we’ll save that for another day.

17. New Jersey Devils – “Why I hate the New Jersey Devils?”

I’m not sure this question makes sense really, but sure, we’ll try to answer it.

The truth is, I’m not really sure.

There’s just something about them that strikes fans as “hate us.” Maybe it’s the fact that they are directly from hell (get it, Devils? HAHAHAHA.) Seriously, I don’t know what it is, but this team is just hard to like for fans. It reminds me of this scene from a great movie. When you’re first becoming a fan of the NHL, I don’t think the first team that comes to mind is the Devils, unless, of course, you’re from the New Jersey area.

18. New York Islanders – “What are the New York Islanders worth?”

Not a whole heck of a lot, to be honest.

As I’m writing this, general manager Garth Snow is dreaming of new ways to trade away his assets for low prices. He’s kind of like a local business in the sense that he has assets to sell for low prices, not realizing that he will run out of said assets fairly soon.

To answer the question simply, it’s about 195 million, according to Forbes (though, it’s been said from time to time that Forbes numbers are somewhat inaccurate.)

You’re probably thinking, “WOW THATS A LOT OF MONEY, KYLE.” You’re not wrong, though it’s good for 26th in the league of 30 teams. So, it’s a lot of money, but not much compared to others.

19. New York Rangers – “Why are the New York Rangers called rags?”

Well, I’m not really sure why they are called “rags,” but I do know they developed the nickname “rag$” because they frivolously spent money on big-named free agents, as opposed to developing their own talent. They don’t do that anymore, though, and in my opinion, that is one of the worst nicknames I’ve ever heard.

It’s not even clever.

20. Ottawa Senators – “Why are the Ottawa Senators called the Habs?”

Well, they’re not.

You see, the Googlers have mistaken the Senators for the Canadiens, who have been nicknamed the habs from the root word, “les habitants.” I hope that’s how you spell it, anyway.

The Senators are called the Sens, and that’s all. I don’t think they have any other nicknames.

For people who pay attention to hockey, I know you will think that it’s stupid people ask that question. But, obviously, some people don’t know.

That’s why I’m here!

21. Philadelphia Flyers – “Why were the Philadelphia Flyers in This is 40?”

I actually Googled this prior, immediately after I watched the movie. Turns out, former Flyer Ian Laperriere is friends with movie director Judd Apatow, who asked four Flyers to come down to Los Angeles to participate in the movie. If my memory serves me correctly, it was Laperriere, Matt Carle, James Van Riemsdyk and Scotty Hartnell. (I fact checked, I got them all! Extra special bonus link.)

Hilariously enough, only one player out of the four still plays for the Flyers. Laperriere is retired, Carle plays for the Tampa Bay Lightning and Van Riemsdyk for Toronto. Hartnell is the lone survivor.

22. Phoenix Coyotes – “Are the Phoenix Coyotes changing their name?”

Yes! They are!

Starting next season, the Phoenix Coyotes will be known as the Arizona Coyotes. Partly to continue the trend the Arizona Diamondbacks (MLB) and the Arizona Cardinals (NFL), and partly because the Coyotes don’t even play in Phoenix. They play in Glendale.

Though, there has been a few hiccups even with the name change in Arizona, as this guy here tried to implement his next get-rich-quick scheme by patenting the name, “Arizona Coyotes.”

Nobody seems to believe he holds much merit. Besides, I’m sure the Arizona Coyotes can entice him to give up his patent with FREE COYOTES TICKETS FOR LIFE.

What a deal!

23. Pittsburgh Penguins – “Why did the Pittsburgh Penguins almost move?”

Well, from what I can remember, the team wasn’t much of a powerhouse yet. They had budding stars in Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin, but they hadn’t been established as a premier NHL team yet. Mellon Arena was old, and the Penguins needed a place to rent.

Kansas City seemed like a viable option at the time, and it seemed the Pittsburgh Penguins were set to become the Kansas City Penguins in a short time.

NOPE. Instead, super Mario to the rescue!

Mario Lemieux, after much negotiation, ended up saving the Penguins (though not singlehandedly,) this time from a managerial standpoint. In fact, it was later said that he wouldn’t have considered relocating the Penguins to Kansas City, but it was just used as a negotiation tactic.

I’m not sure if that’s true, but if it is, great job, Mario. The team is thriving now.

24. San Jose Sharks – “Where are the San Jose Sharks from?”

The San Jose Sharks are from San Jose, California, in the United States of America. Not to be confused with San Jose, Costa Rica, or San Jose, a district in Buenos Aires, or San Jose, Illinois, or San Jose de Mayo, in Uruguay.

To be honest, I had looked at this question with a “what kind of person would ask this question” bias, but turns out, there are a lot of different places with the names San Jose. Too many to count. Look.

So, I can (somewhat) see the legitimacy of the question. To go even further, they play at the SAP Center.

25. St. Louis Blues – “Are the St. Louis Blues in the playoffs?”

Yes.

Unfortunately, the St. Louis Blues are super boring and nobody asks interesting questions about them. Coincidentally, their team has always been labelled as boring, though this year they aren’t as much. They’re 3rd in the league this year in goals for per Extra Skater.

Additionally, all of their top four are in the blue in a player usage chart, once again, per Extra Skater.

Now, ask some more interesting questions about the Blues!

26. Tampa Bay Lightning – “What happened to the Tampa Bay Lightning coach’s face?”

First of all, to a non-hockey fan, what a weird question.

But, for people familiar with former head coach Guy Boucher, it’s probably a question you’ve always wondered, but have been too afraid to ask.

*keep in mind, I’m assuming this question is about Boucher and not their current head coach, Jon Cooper.

Thank goodness for Google.

Boucher has a really prominent scar on his right cheek. Unfortunately, I have no idea where he got it. He wouldn’t tell anybody, only that it was not hockey related. He even said his kids don’t even know. So, I’m going to look and see if I can find it.

*looks frantically on the Internet*

Nope, still nothing. Just a bunch of “theories” that aren’t even funny.

I cannot find the answer. I have failed you.

27. Toronto Maple Leafs – “How can the Toronto Maple Leafs make the playoffs?”

The answer seems easy, considering that they are 12th in the league overall and in the East, a considerably weaker conference. However, continuing the Extra Skater trend here, Toronto’s Fenwick for is last in the league.

Fenwick is shot differential, excluding blocked shots. They total up all shots attempted/directed at the net for both teams, and create a differential based on that. So, being last place in this statistic is not good.

All I’m trying to say here is that the Maple Leafs need to shoot more to make the playoffs. They are in a great spot right now, probably due to a high percentage of puck luck.

You know that saying “all good things come to an end?” Unless the Leafs shoot a lot more, expect a steep drop-off in wins. If they make the playoffs, expect an early ousting.

But, I’ve been wrong before.

28. Vancouver Canucks – “Why are the Vancouver Canucks hated so much?”

What a great question! One that deserves a fair answer.

I’m not really sure. I’ve heard from numerous fans that the reason why they don’t like Vancouver is because their players are really cheap. Zack Kassian is a prime example of this, notorious for his cheap shots and ability to get underneath his opponent’s skin.

Couple that with the seemingly impossible task of laying either of the Sedin twins out, and Ryan Kesler, and you most likely have the reasons why they are hated.

But, it’s hard not to like goaltender Roberto Luongo, especially after what he went through with the Canucks (not to mention his Twitter account.)

29. Washington Capitals – “Do the Washington Capitals even have a system?”

Well, back when Dale Hunter took over for the Capitals in 2012, not really.

It’s kind of a funny question. Of course they had a system, it just wasn’t really working at the time. They were in transition, I’m assuming.

After a quick search, turns out the question is the title of an article on the yahoo hockey blog, Puck Daddy. You can read it here. Or don’t. Stay with me. Almost done.

30. Winnipeg Jets – “Do the Winnipeg Jets have their own plane?”

There’s three possible jokes I could make here:

1. No, they walk.

2. Yes, each Jet has their own plane.

3. No, but they do fly WestJet, so that’s almost the same.

Which one would you pick? My personal favourite is number two. I’m going to roll with that.

There’s a new wives’ tale about the time Jets forward Evander Kane was too busy calling from his cash money to realize that he had a game to play in Florida in 20 minutes.

Time to hop on the jet.

The jet, named the Evander 5000 by Kane himself, got him to the game with 10 minutes to spare. Rumour has it he scored two points that night, too.

Well, that concludes part two of the burning questions Google has. Hope you enjoyed both, let me know if you did!

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3 thoughts on “The NHL’s 30 burning questions: via Google PART 2

  1. Pingback: The NHL’s 30 burning questions: via Google PART 1 | Muzyka.

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